


Thanks, Benny.

by Maggie N (freecas)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Benny to the rescue, Betting, Gay Panic, Insecure Dean, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 12:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4836035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freecas/pseuds/Maggie%20N
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For some time already –– for his whole lifetime –– Dean has been insecure about that being into dudes thing. He thought that once he finds the right guy to do it with, it would all go away. But even though he has admitted that he really wants to be with Cas, even though Cas has responded in hugging him and whispering that he has been waiting for this moment for so long, even though Dean hugged him back and burred his head into the crook of Cas’ neck and took a shaking breath––</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thanks, Benny.

For some time already –– for his whole lifetime –– Dean has been insecure about that being into dudes thing. He thought that once he finds the right guy to do it with, it would all go away. But even though he has admitted that he really wants to be with Cas, even though Cas has responded in hugging him and whispering that he has been waiting for this moment for so long, even though Dean hugged him back and burred his head into the crook of Cas’ neck and took a shaking breath––

He can’t even bring himself to touch Cas more than he would usually, he can’t make out with Cas without being paranoid about it. Cas tries to sooth him into it, tells him that it’s okay, tells him stories about great warriors of the past who laid with men but that doesn’t help.

Cas holds him down, kisses him closed mouth at first, pulls his hands down Dean’s body, whispers, “Let it out, just give in. I’ll do all the job, Dean. It’s okay.”

But it doesn’t help. Dean pushes him away every time. And Cas forgives him every time.

Cas tries so hard and Dean can’t help hating himself for that. So one day he calls Benny and asks if he can stay with him for some time. He just runs away.

Benny doesn’t even ask if everything’s okay, he just shows Dean his bed and opens two bottles of beer. Couple of day later they’re working on Benny’s car. It’s a hot afternoon and Dean is a bit drunk. For some reason he just blurts out everything that’s eating him: that he doesn't want to lose his macho bravado because he wants to fuck guys, but he _really_ wants to fuck guys. He tells him how it was his issue till he was 19 and that guy –– that really hot guy –– bought him a drink and hit on him and Dean was hands on with everything, but once they stumbled into the men’s room, he just freaked out and ran away.

Benny lets Dean finish and says in the most usual way, “Hey, brother, that thing doesn't change who you are, doesn’t define you.”

But Dean is still kind of hesitant. He shakes his head and looks away. Suddenly Dean’s phone vibrates and Benny notices that it's Cas calling. Dean doesn't answer the call and hides the phone quickly.

And that's when benny gets it. He turns away, sips from his beer and then says almost casually, shrugging his shoulders, “I have similar thoughts sometimes,” and Dean looks at him doubtfully, so Benny adds, “Like, I'd be more than happy to do Cas.”

Dean is stuck for several seconds. He looks at Benny in a disbelief and shakes his head slowly, “No, you wouldn’t.”

Benny smirks, “Wanna bet, brother?”

The very same night they pack their stuff and move back to the bunker. Sam isn’t happy about it, but they settled that stupid argument years ago, so Sam isn’t going to start it again. Cas on the contrary for some reason is happy to see Benny. He ignores Dean and Dean figures that he’s still angry with him for running away and not answering the calls and the texts.

Cas fucking smiles at Benny and Dean has to remind himself that he agreed on the bet himself.

Benny isn’t going to fuck Cas. He just couldn’t.

They have dinner together and Sam goes to bed early, not enjoying the company. Dean does the same sometime later, hiding behind the door and peeking into the open gap.

And that is how he ends up watching Benny flirting with Dean’s _boyfriend_.

Of course no one _knows_ about them dating but _still_.

And worst of it all is that Benny is so fucking good at it. They start washing the dishes together –– _washing dishes for god’s sake!_   –– and then there’s stupid foam on Cas’ forearm and Benny cleans it with a towel in a most erotic way possible. Cas smiles an thanks him. Oh god, poor Cas.

They finish with the dishes and Benny starts a normal friendly conversation and Cas is all small smiles and little nods and quirked head and Dean _hates_ it.

And then Benny makes a step forward to Cas, and Cas –– oh god that fucking angel –– doesn’t even move, engaged fully into this useless conversation. There’s a moment when it seems like Benny looks honestly interested in whatever Cas’ saying too and it’s like he forgot about all the betting. But then he leans into Cas’ space and Dean can fucking feel his heart stop. He watches, his hands fisted, how Benny whispers something into Cas’ ear –– the very same spot where Dean hid his head when Cas first hugged him. He wants to ran there, break Benny’s nose – do something!

But it was a bet. Benny won’t go all the way. He isn’t even into guys, for all that Dean knows.

And –– oh God –– Cas finally looks uncomfortable. He brings his hands up, trying to make a step back, but Benny holds him close and continues whispering something into his ear and touching Cas, his hands moving freely over Cas’ body.

And then for some reason Cas lets his guard down. He doesn’t try to break away anymore. Instead, he closes his eyes and leans into the touch.

What. The. Fuck.

Benny puts his hand on Cas’ chest and then moves it down gently and Dean thinks that it could be _his_ fucking hand! It _should_ be his hand!

What the hell is he doing?

Benny brings his hand lower, covering the front of Cas’ pants unhesitatingly, Dean watches Cas’ cheeks redden, his lips part and that’s fucking it.

He runs into the room and shoves Benny away from Cas, standing between them.

“Stop it! Don’t touch him! Don’t _ever_ touch him!”

Benny brings his hands up in a surrendering motion, “Hey, calm down brotha’. I was just trying to prove a point here.”

Dean breathes out, calming himself, “Yes, okay! You win!”

He can’t bring himself to look at Cas, to admit what he agreed to bet on. How stupid he was to make that bet in the first place. He feels disgusted with himself.

“Not _that_ point, brother,” Benny glances at Cas and leaves the room.

Dean feels Cas’ hand on his shoulder and turns around to face him. He still can’t open his eyes, still embarrassed for everything that happened here. It wasn’t Cas fault for enjoying those simple pleasures, it was Dean’s for not delivering them.

Cas puts his hand on Dean’s cheek and then there are his lips on Dean’s and it’s so sudden that Dean starts but doesn’t back up. Instead, he leans into the kiss. He remembers how he thought that Benny was going to kiss Cas, how he almost let that happen. Dean deepens the kiss, claiming Cas’ lips. He puts his hands on Cas’ body and pushes into him, walking back to the wall. There’s a moment when Cas’ back hits the wall and he breaks away from the kiss. Dean then starts kissing his cheek, his ear, his neck –– anything, whispering _I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it should’ve been me, I’m such an idiot, insecure shithead, I’m sorry._

And like the first time Dean confessed his feelings, Cas doesn’t respond with words. He takes Dean’s head into his hands and slams their lips again. There are Cas’ hands on Dean’s waistline, and Dean moans, slamming his hips into Cas’. Cas breaks the kiss again and breathes out a silent moan, when Dean pushes his hands under his shirt finally being able to touch this fucking body.

Suddenly Cas takes Dean’s hands in his and looks serious, “You sure about this?” he asks his voice raspy.

Dean thinks about it, he really does. He looks at Cas, his body, his hands where they hold him back, moves his arms to feel the skin beneath his hands and yes, he’s so fucking sure.

It’s Dean’s turn now to answer with a kiss. He seals their lips and bites on Cas’ bottom lip.

“Just let me do all the job, and I’ll be fine.”

Cas smiles at him, licks his lips and nods almost enthusiastically. Dean doesn’t think twice when he kneels and brings Cas’ pants down.


End file.
